The First of Many (I hope)---------What do you think?

Prologue

 

If she hadn’t seen it with her own two eyes, she would never have believed it possible. But there it was—the proof—two bodies sprawled on the floor of her family’s home.

Barely able to contain the scream, she swallowed down the nausea while tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision; Mary Beth covered her mouth to stifle any sounds threatening to escape.

Only 17 years old, and now she was alone. Well and truly alone. She struggled with that unexpected realization. She’d had her dear parents for all of her life...but now, they were gone.

Staying hidden, Mary Beth watched as the 3 men—armed with 9mm handguns—stood over James and Sherry Tiding, talking together in low tones as they gestured toward the bodies.

She could almost hear them as they spoke to each other, motioning angrily all the while. They were discussing ways to dispose of the bodies; and something else—something was wrong. Then, she understood one of them, saying that there had been three people.  They had missed someone! One of them held up 3 of his fingers as he spoke, and she carefully sat back, making sure she didn’t make any noise.

When she was at last in a semi-comfortable sitting position, Mary Beth closed her eyes, trying in vain to block out the image of the 2 inert bodies lying in a pool of dark sickening blood. Then, her entire frame began to shake.  Unsuccessfully taking a deep breath in order to calm her shaking body, Mary Beth closed her yes.. The trembling would surely give her away.

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Comment by Kendra LaLonde on January 2, 2011 at 10:12pm
oops.  clumsy me!  it's: Mary Beth's story-------chapter one.  sorry about the mistake.
Comment by Kendra LaLonde on January 2, 2011 at 10:11pm
oh, the follow-up of the prologue (chapter one) is a whole new Blog.  I don't know how to add Blog posts after Blog posts.  So it's a whole seperate Blog :( .  It's called: Mary Beth------chapter one.  ENJOY
Comment by Kendra LaLonde on January 2, 2011 at 10:02pm
OK.  I now have TWO problems!  I still can't figure out what her name should be.  Mary Beth just doesn't ring true for me.  AND....did it happen four or six years ago?  Was she really only 12 years old? (if I got the bumber right in my head).  GRR!  Writing is a real job, isn't it?  But, a word to you all out there who are TRYING: you can't do more than God let's you do!  Keep it up!
Comment by Phred St Laurent on December 30, 2010 at 9:23pm
:-)
Comment by Kendra LaLonde on December 30, 2010 at 8:53pm

You're right.  That does sound weird!  How is that going to help me find her name, though?  I can kind of see where you are coming from...but I still don't get it.  I mean, most of the characters in my stories (although incompleted stories) make sense to me.  Once in a while, though, I will wonder about a certain character's name...and wonder where it came from in my head, and how I can make it work.  Compound names...too complex.  But what name?  That's a question I will have to ask her I guess.  LOL

 

Now that I think about it some more....  Hmm....you might be right.  I guess I guess I WILL ASK HER

Comment by Phred St Laurent on December 30, 2010 at 5:02pm
This will sound weird, but ask her what her name is... :-)
Comment by Kendra LaLonde on December 30, 2010 at 4:56pm
OK, OK.  I'm too curious to wait: what do you think about the name ''Mary Beth''?  I get the impression it's kind of old-fashioned, don't you think?  Should I change it to something else?
Comment by Phred St Laurent on December 30, 2010 at 12:10pm
Good start Kendra.
Comment by Kendra LaLonde on December 30, 2010 at 10:59am
Want more?  Comment...if I get good enough (positive) responses to the prologue, I'll add more.  Praise God if it garners positive answers....  I'm praying!

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Created by Phred St Laurent May 27, 2010 at 11:35pm. Last updated by Phred St Laurent May 31, 2010.

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