When to Give In, How to Push Back
by Dr. Tim Clinton and Pat Springle
Often our relationships are controlled by our misconceptions of what love is. We dominate or cower in the name of love, but the very nature of this love is destructive and unhealthy. When we allow ourselves to be enmeshed we rob ourselves and the object of our devotion of a healthy relationship and the joy and happiness that true love brings. This unhealthy dependency usually masks feelings of resentment, anger and eventually hate.
But we can break through this destructive pattern and discovery what a healthy relationship is. We need to realize our true worth – that God wants more for us than to be trapped in an abusive relationship. We need to learn to step back and see where we are heading. Until we can see clearly the path of destruction we are on we cannot heal.
We cannot fix other people, they have to face the consequences of their own actions. We cannot take on their consequences and expect them to ever be responsible. Nor should we expect someone to always be there to get us out of every little situation we find our self in. Throughout the world there are emotional twelve year-olds walking around in adult bodies seeking and craving attention, affection, and affirmation from irresponsible and untrustworthy people.
When our relationships aren't what we expect them to be we feel broken and empty, so we attempt to fill the hole in our life with unhealthy relationships. We seek to fill an inner longing with one unhealthy relationship after another, but we must break the pattern we are stuck in.
Do you want to break-free and experience a true relationship - one that is not codependent on others? You can change, but the change is gradual. You cannot expect an overnight instantaneous transformation. God is willing and able to help you, you need to listen to the His call. What we refer to as a crisis is often God's attempt to wake us up.
True love is defined in First Corinthians 13. Love is unselfish, caring, forgiving and when you look to Jesus you see true love lived out. When we experience God's love we have hope and God is our center and the past has no claim on our today or our tomorrow.
We must dig deep to to work our way back up. Trials come but they are a tool to deepen our trust in God and to serve as an example of encouragement to others who are on their own journey to freedom from unhealthy and addictive codependency. Break Through is your guide to breaking free so that you can make healthy relationship decisions.